Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
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Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
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Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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