the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Life is so much better after having sex.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
