My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
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the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
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we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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