If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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