id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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