Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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