and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
