I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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