She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
