Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
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