You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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