I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize