and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize