i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
