i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I have so many feelings about this burrito
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
