I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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