So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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