areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
