Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
