He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
birth control should be required to get into college
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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