So drunk its hurt
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
only if we run a train.
done.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
