Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
