i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
