it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
