I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
