So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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