She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
