You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
