You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We left the knife in your bed.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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