so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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