Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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