he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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