would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
