Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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