the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Michael Bay diarrhea
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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