I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
