So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
