I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
