fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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