no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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