you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
