Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
