i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
