Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
