adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
