Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
