so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
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