No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
