so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
