God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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