UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
