dude i'm inner monologue high
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
