NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize