i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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