I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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