Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
