I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
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you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
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Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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